Idfc (snowbaz)
by tyrannusgrimmpitcch
Summary: It is their last year at Watford. Few months after Simon defeated the Insidious Humdrum. But Simon isn't studying at Watford.He can't, because he lost his magic. Mrs.Bunce allowed him to stay there with Baz and Penny. But Simon is fucked. He can't deal with the fact that his magic is gone. And then things get complicated again. What if Simon didn't really defeated Humdrum?


Simon

I'm lying in my bed with my eyes closed. The sun is shining through the curtains and it's interrupting me. I want to sleep but I can't because of that damn sun.

It's exactly 1pm. Baz and Penny are still having lessons right now, but it should end in few minutes.

Even though the sun is shining, it is freezing outside. Baz is really lucky because he can't feel cold. He is always making fun of me when we are out and I'm shaking and cursing how much I hate winter. But let's be honest, there isn't a situation when Baz isn't sarcastic or making fun of me.

I stand up and walk to the window. Lawns are covered in snow and so are trees and buildings. Everything is covered in snow. I like how it looks, but I don't like how it feels.

I don't know for how long I was looking out of the window, when I heard the door open.

I turn around to face Baz and Penny.

Penny is smiling and on Baz's face you can see only his usual bored expression.

Baz and Penny are my only friends. Well, Baz is actually my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel like he is more than my boyfriend. (If there is something more).

,How was your day, Snow?" Baz asks. His face is as pale as it usually is. He is looking at me and a small smile is playing on his lips.

I don't answer I just come closer to him and hug him. It is really good to feel his cold body pressed against mine after the whole day. Sometimes it is all I need.

,Did you miss me, Snow?" he asks and I just smile, then I look at Penny. She looks bored and while me and Baz were hugging, she sat down on Baz's bed, which is also my bed because I haven't sleep in my bed since we came. I can't sleep in my bed because it reminds me of times when I had my magic.

Now it is all gone. And it's slowly destroying me. Even though I never really knew how to properly use my magic, without it I feel so fucking empty.

Sometimes I can't sleep at night, I'm just crying and hating myself so much. The worst thing about it is that Baz and Penny do not understand it. They have their magic. They will never understand.

I'm powerless. And I feel lost and empty. I feel like I'm just a disappointment to whole world of mages. Penny and Baz are always telling me that I actually saved everyone. But all I did was that I cleaned my own mess.

And I killed the Mage. The only person who has ever been interested in me.

Well, now I have Baz, but this is different.

,Hey, Simon, are you okay?" penny asks. I can feel tears falling down my face. Fuck. I can't cry right now.

,Yes," I mutter and then I give her convincing smile. But I know that I haven't deceived her with that. She knows me too well. And so does Baz.

,Okay, Snow. Get ready. We are going for a walk right now," Baz says and then he wipe my tears with his finger.

,No, Baz. Don't.. " I start but Baz interrupts me.

,I'm not going to argue with you. You have spent whole days in this room so you are going for a walk right now with us," and then he takes my hand and pulls my toward him.

I sigh but I follow him and Penny downstairs. And then an amazing idea hits me.

,Hey, Baz, can we visit Ebb's grave?" I bite my lip while looking to Baz's eyes. His eyes are so beautiful. And not only his eyes. Everything about him is beatiful.

,Well.. I guess we can," he says and looks at Penny. She nods and smile a little.

So here we are, walking to the Wavering woods in the middle of February when it is freezing outiside. I'm holding Baz's hand and I'm sure that his hand is even colder than air.

When we get into forest, I let Baz's hand go. I can feel he and Penny are watching me but I don't care.

,Well.. Uhm.. Can I just.. "

,Do you wanna be alone with her?" Penny asks and I nod.,Okay, but be back in ten minutes," she says. Baz is frowning right now, he doesn't like the idea of leaving me alone in the Wavering Woods. But he doesn't argue with Penny which is good.

I get to Ebb's grave in three minutes. I stand for five more minutes and then I want to get back to Penny and Baz, but something stops me. It is a hand. Very cold hand. It is even colder than Baz's hand.

I almost shriek. Then I turn around and I'm facing Ebb.


End file.
